Self-Flagellation

The literal practice of self-flagellation is old as civilization itself. From the ancient prophets of Baal whipping and cutting themselves on Mount Carmel to the medieval monks of Monty Python striking themselves with thick, hard-cover books to the cilice belt on that ominous Da Vinci Code villain today. And even men and women of faith scourge themselves in less damaging or violent ways all the time.

Let me be clear when I say that this can be and usually is a component of healthy spirituality. Maybe not cutting or whipping, but remorse. Regret. Fasting. The whole season of Lent is meant to bring us into fuller dependance on God and clearer spiritual focus so we can grieve with every iota of our soul on Good Friday. We need to mourn on Good Friday and we need to do it properly if we want a chance to properly rejoice on Easter morning.

But I know I tend too heavily in this direction too often, and especially so when I am in a state of conviction over sin. When I have screwed up and deliberately violated God, I withdraw. Rather than run broken to His arms, I hide my nakedness like Adam before me. I feel like I need to really properly realize the magnitude of my mistake before I can be restored. This usually lands me in the very uncomfortable position of spending several days end-to-end feeling awful and doing nothing about it.

Today I saw a model, however, of what Jesus would have me do instead. A beloved but estranged family member was restored to us today. I watched my Mom accept his return quickly and move straight to consoling and restoring relationship. We didn't hash out how bad the hurt was. And the hurt, believe me, was bad. There were all kinds of fancy sub-hurts and awful barbs in this one. It didn't look like it was going to turn out OK. Have we all talked out all the bits and pieces? No. Will we? No. Ought we? Not if we see the example Jesus gives us:

 ¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons.¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

   ¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

   ¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.

   “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

   ²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

   ²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

What is the loving father's reaction to the reprehensible, inexcusable, manipulative son who has returned? While he is still a long way off, his father runs to him! He throws his arms around a physically and spiritually unclean thing, embracing filth and dishonour and evil because of unrestrained grace. This kind of grace defies human expectations and even human senses of justice. This father has humiliated himself, defiled himself, and thrown good money after bad on this ill-intentioned young man who is not even properly repentant.

This is love. This is grace. And that grace doesn't wait for us to be sorry for ourselves before we can take hold of it. God only asks we begin the journey back to Him so that He can see us coming and do 99% of the meeting halfway for us. 

Self-flagellation, emotional as damaging as physical, can be useful but it's not a pre-requisite. Just repentance. I hesitate to jump too far and rush to the empty tomb before sitting at the foot of the cross. It's important and necessary for us to reflect on our sinfulness and to be repentant and remorseful, of course. But the desert of conviction is not the place to try and work out our impurities. First return to the father's house! He will dress you in new robes and crown you with new honours. There the ongoing work of sanctification can take place unimpeded by our guilt and sinfulness.